Separated at Birth: Rick Martel & Peter Dante

Robocop: He's Back

I was always hoping that him and Sting would get the band back together and take a run at the tag team straps, but this recent appearence at an indy show will have to do.

Separated at Birth: Eddie Kingston & SInbad

Z! True Long Island Story #15

Also, a hefty congrats to Zack Ryder winning our poll for what WWE talent deserves a bigger push. Now that those results are official I expect to see Zack playing a prominent role on RAW next week.

Kharma is Pregnant: Whoddunit?

We know at this point that Kharma has been written off WWE TV for the next nine months. It didn't take a complete genius to figure based on Kharma's gender and the time period that she is probably pregnant. The news hasn't been confirmed as far as I've seen, but the dirt sheets are saying its pretty much a no brainer, which I agree.

That leads us to the most important question, who has done this? Who manned up and slept with this beast of a woman? Someone extremely drunk? Someone extremely hard up? Someone with a fetish for extremely large women? That is the question we are going to attempt to answer.

As my close friends know I'm a huge fan of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. One of the greatest episodes they ever did was a mystery episode titled, "Who Pooped The Bed?" They had a follow up mystery episode, "Who Got Sweet Dee Pregnant?" later on. Continuing in that tradition, we ask the question that's on this wrestling fan's mind at least. Who knocked up Kharma?

                                          Suspect #1: Mark Henry

I know, I know. I'm tiptoeing around the area of bad taste, but that's really what this website is all about anyway. These two gigantic African Americans would make a baby that would use Shaq O'Neil as a rag doll. (tip toeing) The poor thing would outweigh the entire Klump family. (stumbling) It would make Precious, from the movie Precious, from the book Precious by Sapphire, look like an anorexic whiney teenager who can't get her shit together. (Bad Taste! Officially!)

                                Suspect #2: Daniel Bryan

Never, ever, trust the quiet guy.

Suspect #3: Dolph Ziggler

We all saw what Kharma was doing to the blonde doll heads. Days later Dolph's hair is a dark shade of brown. Was this done to appease his secret lady? My guess is no, especially considering they already made the poor idiot dye his hair bleach blonde again. But then again, maybe that's why Kharma was crying?

Suspect #4: Hornswoggle

I'll admit I only threw in Hornswoggle's name because of the sheer absurdity of it and the visual that it produces. That's right, Kharma and Hornswoggle having sex. Visualize it. You're welcome.

Suspect #5: John Morrison

With everyone sleeping with his on again/off again girlfriend, Melina, maybe poor John fell victim to the ultimate in terrible rebounds. Man is that a terrible rebound. Terrible.


So faithful readers, in order to get interactive with this question I decided Who Knocked Up Kharma? Will be our next poll question. What do you think? Feel free to answer the poll when it is posted in a few short hours.

Ultimate Warrior's Macho Man Tribute

Say what you will about The Ultimate Warrior, but deep down he is a good dude.

WWE Raw Review 5/23/11: Canadians Can't Count

Hello everyone and welcome to another addition of the Raw Review with your good pal Reid Linwood. Tonight, Raw is coming from the west coast in Portland, Oregon. As lame as this is I'm going to give this crowd some serious recognition because they were rowdy and loud and involved the entire night to the point I noticed. It makes a wrestling show so much more fun.

The show starts with Jerry Lawler coming down and telling us that the national nightmare is now over and that Cole got beat. It will only be over if this is truly the last match you two have, Jerry. Jerry then introduces the man that gave him a bit of an assist last night, Bret Hart.

I guess Bret decided to stick around for another night. Good for him, always good to have the Hitman around. Bret starts to congratulate King when R Truth interrupts him. Truth sarcastically says its a real treat for a WWE Hall of Famer like Hart to be around. He asks him how he managed to get so many championship matches because poor R Truth has had zero. I guess we don't count Elimination Chamber anymore? Hmm.

Hart tells him that he got shots at the title because he was the best there was, is, and ever will be and tells Truth he's a lunatic. Truth is very angry about this. John Cena's music then hits and we're going to be joined by him as well out here.

Cena shakes Bret's hand and asks him how he's doing and Bret congratulates him on the win last night. Based on the match, I'm surprised we're not supposed to all wash Cena's feet. When 12 apostles start following him around I'm done with wrestling.

Cena makes a few wisecracks about R Truth and Truth continues to whine about a title shot. The Anonymous Raw General Manager tone hits and we have a message. I tried really hard to think of a witty way to make fun of how preposterous the Anonymous Raw General Manager thing is but I'm obviously running out of creative gas.

The message reads that while the General Manager is impressed with R Truth, he needs to have a good showing in the main event of tonight's RAW to earn a title shot. The main event is announced as R Truth & CM Punk vs. Super Cena & Rey Mysterio. Bret Hart will also be the special guest referee. I'm excited to see CM Punk interact with Bret. Should be interesting.

From commercial we see Kane and The Big Show talking about their win last night over The Nexus. Show is sitting on one of Alberto Del Rio's expensive cars. Ricardo Rodriguez sees this and as sure as his bowl cut is getting longer, he's extremely pissed at Big Show for leaning on the car and yells at him in Spanish. Big Show shoves him down and says he hates that guy. Not sure what poor Ricardo ever did to Show, jeez.

Alberto Del Rio comes by and starts furiously yelling in Spanish at Kane and The Big Show. They finally start to leave and Del Rio continues his Spanish tirade. My SAP wasn't on but my guess to what he was yelling was as follows:

"Big Show, you have a terrible tattoo and you look more and more like King Kong Bundy every day. And you Kane, didn't you have burns on 90% of your body? You just look pasty! Oh that's right, it was all in your head. Now disperse you peasants!"

Up next is Big Show and Kane vs. David Otunga and Curt Hennig's kid for the tag team titles. The Nexus comes down and CM Punk is joining the announce team for commentary. Someone obviously booked Raw for me this evening as I enjoy the hell out of Punk's color.

The match is pretty standard for the most part. Punk is great on color with many quips, but you already knew that. With Show grabbing both members of Nexus in his chokeslam grip, Punk sneaks up after the referee is knocked out and nails Show in the back of the head with a high kick. Otunga & Joey Hennig grab Show and DDT him for the 123. New Tag Team Champs!

Punk grabs the belts and Nexus makes its way down the aisle as Show is coming to and Kane is pissed. Obviously they seem serious about getting Nexus some actual air time. This can only mean good things for Punk I would assume.

After commercial we're backstage with Big Show and Kane. Show is furious and yells a lot at poor Scott Stanford. Now is the time to use the Broski in a Bottle and calm Show down, Scott. The camera gets all screwy and Show runs off and the camera fades in to him being hit by Albert Del Rio's car. WWE sure does love to have people get hit by cars. Ricardo was behind the wheel and speeds off after the damage is done. Show is screaming in pain as the medics arrive.

Next up we have Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne. Nice to see Evan get some Raw time even though this is bound to be a squash match, meh. What exactly is Jack Swagger's appeal again? I don't get it. Does nothing for me.

The match is short and unfortunately as I foretold it is a squash match. Jack does his victory lap thing and Borne slugs him in the face with a kick and gets the hell out of dodge. That was kind of funny. I fully expected this to be a classic squash so it was nice to see Bourne get the laugh last per say. Not sure where they're going with it, but oh well.

Next up is Michael Cole coming to the ring. He apologizes for his behavior and asks if he can do commentary again and apologizes to the fans, Lawler, Josh, and even the time keeper. King seems to accept his apology.

Miz's music hits next. He gets on the mic and immediately blames Alex Riley for his failure to win back the WWE Title. Riley grabs the mic and says he wasn't the one to say I quit. Miz starts slapping him until Riley goes ape shit and starts kicking the crap out of the Miz. He tears off his suit and throws him over the announce table. Very good and intense segment.

I think if they follow this up right, Alex Riley has a shot at being a decent sized babyface in the company. Last night was a really good crowd, but people were chanting Riley as he kicked the crap out of The Miz. If WWE is smart they won't squander that.

Next up is a Diva's 8 women tag match. The Bella Twins, Marse, and Melina vs. Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim, and Beth Phoenix. I haven't seen Beth Phoenix in ages. Nice of them to dig her up for this.

Before the match even starts Kharma's music hits. 8 divas vs. Kharma, this should be interesting. Kharma gets into the ring and the 8 divas start circling her like a pack of wolves. All of a sudden Kharma drops to her knees and starts sobbing and shaking. Weird. Supposedly this whole thing is Vince's baby and this little swerve is his idea. I have no idea where they could possibly be going with this and absolutely no explanation was given.

Next up is Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston. Okay match with McIntyre working on Kofi's knee for the entire match. Kofi couldn't pull out the Trouble in Paradise as his knee gave up so he hit the S.O.S drop instead. Okay little match, McIntyre is just, blah. Bret Hart recently stuck up for him and said he was being misused by WWE but I just don't see it. He's as bland as bland can be.

Speaking of bland, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero are shown watching the match backstage. Poor Dolph, his hair is back to the same bleach blonde. I guess he's not new and improved anymore?

After the break they showed a video tribute to Randy Savage. It was done quite well, well enough that I'll even admit to getting a little choked up.

Ahem, now that something isn't in my eye anymore, we're back and Alberto Del Rio is backstage and denies having anything to do with Big Show being ran over by his car, saying that it was all Ricardo's fault.

Next up is the main event. CM Punk came down in classic Macho Man pink tights and yellow boots, another classy tribute. Punk also didn't disappoint with his interaction with Hart, at one point asking him where he learned to count, Canada? He also did a perfect Bret Hart style side russian legsweep and even teased the sharpshooter at one point.

Eventually the match broke down and Hart slugged Punk and put him in the sharpshooter. Rey used this opportunity to hit a springboard leg drop on a defenseless punk for the face to get the win.

It was a fun main event for me due to Punk's antics. It didn't appear they really had a hook for next week out of this main event though. It wouldn't surprise me if they were actually trying to determine between Punk and R Truth for Cena's next opponent.

WWE Over the Limit 2011: The Passion of the Cena

Alright folks, here's a breakdown of the matches and my thoughts on each one. Let me preface this by saying even though it had a few nice moments, this was definitely not a great PPV.


Match #1 - R Truth vs. Rey Mysterio

I dislike R Truth but I didn't dislike this match. Rey could carry a corpse to a decent match. The match was solid with some nice high spots, especially the bulldog off the top rope by Rey. R Truth has been doing that spinning elbow for years but I have to admit I was impressed as he seemed to get about 3 revolutions out of it before hitting the mat. Truth won with his finish which surprised me a little bit. This push is definitely here to stay I guess.

Winner: R Truth


Match #2 - Wade Barrett vs. Zek Jackson for the IC Title

There is two words to describe this match. Scoop slam. I think Zek did about 20 of them. I lost count. On a side note, Ezekial looks like he has two midgets stuffed into his shoulders they're so big.

Overall, the match was okay. It ended with The Corre running in to beat on Zek and I absolutely hate DQ finishes at PPVs. According to live reports I guess the crowd was getting into Zek and his plethora of scoop slams by match end. Good for him.

Winner: Ezekial Jackson by DQ.


Match #3 Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero

This match was okay. Sin Cara got to hit all his high spots, and the guy is extremely talented, but there was a lack of psychology and rhythm and the match just didn't work for me. Chavo botched a headscissors at the end that ended up being the finish of the match as Sin Cara got the pin. Not sure if they were really going to end it that way or if Chavo got hurt or something. I'm really disappointed Chavo didn't/wouldn't take Sin Cara's finisher.

Side note, this would have been way better had it been Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan, who wrestled a great match on Smackdown.

Winner: Sin Cara via a soon to be on botchamania headscissors.


Match #4 - Big Show and Kane vs. CM Punk and Mason Ryan for the tag titles

Basic tag match. CM Punk did great heel work and Ryan got to show off his power moves. Punk did the Macho elbow off the top rope in an awesome tribute. Unfortunately, he missed said elbow and it was all downhill for The Nexus after that. Kane and Show won with a double chokeslam on Ryan. The camera focused on Punk who appeared to be crying almost. Great facial expressions.


Match #5 - Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly for the Jeff Hardy Immortal Belt

Basic Divas match. Brie/twin won when they did the old switcharoo. Little Guido was refereeing! I figured there would be a Kharma appearance for sure but nothing. Good move, don't want that to get stale.


Match #6 - Randy Orton vs. Christian for the World Heavyweight Title

Definitely match of the night. Back and forth with some really nice near falls and the crowd was electric. They told a great story and you could feel the desperation from Christian. This match should have been the main event. Great match. Predictably, Orton went over with the RKO, but I wasn't even mad based on how great a match it was.

Side note: Orton used the Billy Goats Curse during the match. Instead of being a douchebag like Kurt Angle, Colt Cabana came out with a hilarious shirt lampooing the situation on Twitter, calling himself The Jiper (Jewish Viper). Great stuff. Could learn something, Kurt.

Winner: Orton via pinfall after the RKO


Match #7 Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole in a Kiss My Foot match

Cole had a note from his doctor about diseases he could contract, essentially a written excuse not to participate. The referee ripped it up to a big pop. Jerry won the match quickly and then the parade started.

First out was Eve, who gave Cole a moonsault for ripping on the Diva's matches. Then came JR with the bottle of barbeque sauce. Cole ran out of the ring only to be met by Bret Hart at the exit. Awesome to see Bret again. Bret dragged him down to the ring, put him in the sharpshooter, and King stuck his toes in Cole's mouth.

It was entertaining. It was a nice payoff and awesome to see Bret.

Winner via pinfall - Jerry Lawler


Main Event - John Cena vs. The Miz for the WWE Title in an I Quit Match

I'm 90% sure Mel Gibson was the road agent. My 10% of doubt is only because there was not any slurs against Jewish people that were audible during the match.

This whole thing was cheesy. Lots of whipping John Cena with a belt and cane. All that was missing was the crown of thorns. The false finish with the cell phone recording had already been done and was absolutely lame.

In the end Cena rose from the dead after the referee ordered the match to continue after discovering the recording. He whipped The Miz and put him in the STF where Miz quit in about 3 seconds flat. He has risen. Chocolate bunnies for everyone.

Winner: John Cena via Miz saying I quit.


With the exception of Orton vs. Christian this PPV was pretty flat. The Bret Hart appearance was entertaining but in general this PPV just didn't have any matches I was excited about for the most part. Hopefully their next PPV won't be as lame as the commercial for it was..

Ring Of Honor Sold to Sinclair Broadcast Group

BRISTOL, PA. (MAY 21, 2011)--Ring of Honor Wrestling owner, Cary Silkin, announced today the sale of the promotion to Sinclair Broadcast Group, Inc., one of the largest television broadcasters in the country and which owns and operates, programs, or provides sales services to 58 television stations in 35 markets across the United States.

ROH, currently the third largest wrestling promotion in the country, just celebrated its ninth anniversary, and Mr. Silkin is excited about taking the next step towards increasing the company's visibility and expanding its operations.

"We have been waiting for and working for this opportunity for quite some time", he said, "and of our 9 years in business, there has been no better roster of wrestlers than this one to expose the ROH product to the masses. With Sinclair's resources and many avenues of distribution, we believe many new fans around the world will be as captivated as those who have followed Ring of Honor over the years."

The month of September will see the debut of the new Ring of Honor television program which will be syndicated across the Sinclair network of stations, and with it, ROH will become the only wrestling promotion in the United States with a major, multi-market presence on broadcast TV. But if you don't live in a market with a Sinclair station, fear not, says Mr. Silkin. "Through our revamped website we will be able to make the TV show available to anyone in the world with internet access."

Sinclair officials are enthused about the project as well.

"We are very excited about this acquisition," commented Steve Marks, COO of Sinclair's Television Group. "Television and professional wrestling have a long history of successful partnerships and driving viewership. Unfortunately, the broadcast networks have not protected that relationship, allowing professional wrestling to migrate to cable network distribution. We believe that the powerful promotional platform that our TV stations provide, coupled with our 22% share of the U.S. TV households, will allow ROH to achieve name brand recognition and grow its share of the wrestling market. When you consider the makeup of our station mix and the number of CW, MYTV and FOX affiliates we operate, this is a perfect fit for our viewer demographics." Mr. Marks also noted, "Longer-term, we can envision syndicating ROH wrestling to broadcasters in markets where Sinclair does not have a presence, and even internationally."

Mr. Silkin assures the ROH fans worldwide that they will be seeing the same exciting, hard-hitting style of pro wrestling that they have become accustomed to. "We have established the name Ring of Honor as synonymous with the best in-ring action in the sport. The only thing that will change is that it will now be easier for fans around the world to follow. Our visibility will increase greatly--our production will be upgraded--but the work ethic of our incredible talent roster and our athletic style of wrestling will remain the same. This is what our fans have told us they want, and we will continue to give it to them."

The current front office staff, including Cary Silkin, Syd Eick, and Ross Abrams, will remain with ROH going forward. Hunter Johnston, a favorite of ROH fans for years as the masked grappler Delirious, will still handle matchmaking, Jim Cornette will remain as executive producer, and other familiar faces like ring announcer Bobby Cruise and senior referee Todd Sinclair will be in place."

Additionally, longtime wrestling broadcaster Kevin Kelly, already the voice of ROH internet pay-per-views, will assume the TV play-by-play chair this fall. Veteran NWA and WCW promoter Gary Juster will come aboard to be in charge of live event operations, which are planned to continue in current ROH markets as well as expanding into new locations concurrent with the increased TV exposure.

Mr. Cornette, who along with Mr. Johnston, will be in charge of talent and matchmaking, sees this as a new beginning for pro wrestling. "This is not old-school wrestling, and it's not sports entertainment," said Mr. Cornette. "This is wrestling for the 21st century, a new style developed by fresh, young stars that incorporates wrestling, mixed martial arts and high-flying, high-risk action with unique personalities, and it's showcased by a sports-based presentation completely different from any other product out there. In my 30 years in the sport, it's the most exciting live-event wrestling experience I've seen, and I'm thrilled to help bring it to broadcast TV."

A major press conference, open to wrestling press and mainstream media alike, is being planned for Baltimore on Friday, June 24th. This event will feature a number of the ROH staff and wrestlers both announcing news about ROH's future and answering questions. The media event will be presided over by new ROH COO, Joe Koff. Mr. Koff, a longtime Sinclair executive with an extensive background in TV sales and management, also has experience in pro wrestling television production and syndication. Most visible of his projects may have been the first-ever live, prime time syndicated pro wrestling events, the Battle of the Belts, which aired from 1985 to 1987. These Championship Wrestling from Florida-based cards were broadcast live to a syndicated network of stations and may be best-remembered for the classic Ric Flair vs. Barry Windham NWA World Title contest from St. Petersburg.

The press event will kick off a weekend which includes ROH's next internet pay-per-view event, "Best In The World 2011," live from the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City on Sunday, June 26th at 4PM EST. In addition to all the top stars on the ROH roster, this event will feature the return of some favorite stars from Ring of Honor's past, and can be ordered by anyone in the world with internet access through Gofightlive.tv for only $14.95. More information about Ring of Honor can be obtained through their website, http://www.rohwrestling.com/.

Macho Gold

Macho On Arsenio Hall

Speaking From The Heart Music Video

Randy Savage: Dead at 58

Todays news hit me hard. Randy Savage was the ephitamy of professional wrestling. Physically gifted, nonsensical. We lost a great one today. Randy was apparently driving and had a heart attack and crashed his Jeep into a tree.

To celebrate a great man, here's a video of highlights of what many consider to be his greatest match. Wrestlemania 3 vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.

Cornette Thursdays - Wrestlerock Rumble

CMPunkGold.Net: CM Punk Owns a Fan

If I keep doing this we're going to have to rename the website CMPunkGold.net, but this is so classic I can't NOT share it with you all. One of the greatest moments of fan ownage I've ever seen in my life. I promise my next post will not be Punk related, pinky swear.

If They Made It: Matt Morgan + Simon Pegg = Crimson

Jeff & Matt Hardy disapprove of CM Punk

This is an older video (November 2010) but its worth watching for the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Jeff is obviously whacked out on pills shooting on CM Punk and how he "made" him and how Punk shunned him when he was backstage once.

Matt interjects something about Amy Dumas as well who Punk may have been dating at the time. Matt looks like he's taken enough muscle relaxers to kill an elephant.

I wonder if they realize how big a joke they are now?

Separated at Birth: The Pope & Madison Rayne

TNA Sacrifice Review

The opener was a tag team match between Ink Inc vs. Mexican America. It was okay. Not bad but not great. It was very vanilla and there just isn't anything interesting to note. Mexican America got the win.

Next was Karen and Jeff coming out for a promo with Karen in her walking boot. This was one of the only times the crowd was awake as they chanted "Bullshit" rather loudly. Foley came out and had a nice line about the X-ray belonging to a 6 and a half foot African American male. When Mick said Jolene the seamstress was making an outfit for Karen I was hoping it was a grubby white dress shirt and some black sweatpants.

Brian Kendrick's gimmick of having a better level of diction than everyone else continued. When he talks about language he sounds like the Arizona shooter. And why is it that Robbie E. seems to have a match at every PPV but is rarely ever on Impact? I don't get it. The match was not as good as it should have been and ended with Kendrick hitting a leg lariat. Huh?

I had a friend text me and say they felt like they were watching a longer version of Sunday Night Heat. I'm thinking more along the lines of Shotgun Saturday Night. This is dreadful so far.

Next was the Madison vs. Mickie James Knockout Title match. Two ref bumps in a knockouts match? TNA! TNA! TNA! Ugh. Tara hits Madison with the loaded glove for Mickie to get the win.

Next up was the X Division Title match between Kaz and Max Buck. These guys worked really hard. It wasn't the best match I've ever seen but they did not deserve the dead crowd that they got. PPV's at the Impact Zone are bad, mmk? The sunset flip powerbomb on Max to the outside looked just gross. Kaz eventually won with a shinning wizard after Max blocked every attempt Kaz made at the Fade To Black. Nice psychology actually. Weird.

Abyss vs. Big Red was up next. This match did very little for me. Another dead crowd. They weren't lazy I just couldn't get into it. Crimson won with the Lowdown. D'Lo Brown is said to be inconsolable.

Matt Hardy and Chris Harris vs. Beer Money is next. Its obvious why its Chris Harris and not Jeff Hardy tonight. Chris Harris appears to have swallowed Jeff Hardy whole. My God is he out of shape and it shows and effects the match. Beer Money wins with the old America's Most Wanted double team move.

Tommy Dreamer beat AJ Styles after interference from Bully Ray and a rather weak looking piledriver through a table. The ending at least was a surprise. The rest of the match wasn't. Wasn't bad but certainly wasn't good either.

Karen and Jeff Jarrett and Chyna Doll & Kurt Angle was up next. Angle and Chyna won with double ankle locks. Chyna just looks, weird. Puffy. I don't know. Apparently she's behaving so far. Not my cup of tea but the crowd was into it which is not something you can say for every match tonight.

The main event between Sting and Rob Van Dam was just okay. They tried, but that's not what a main event on a PPV in 2011 should look like. Sting is way too old to attempt to wrestle the kind of match that requires. He did what he could and wasn't lazy but this was disappointing to say the least.

Overall, this was another large step back from Lockdown. The PPV was boring. It wasn't keeping my interest. It wasn't rape shower bad, but it was almost worse than that in a way. It was just a flat "who gives a shit?" feeling you got from it. I think that's worse than outrage.

Are You A D.U.F?

Excited to see these guys in some tag team action in Dragon Gate USA.

Impact Wrestling: The only company that focuses on wrestling?

Jason Hervey “It seems like the other companies really turned their back on who they are and how they got there, but we’re embracing it at Impact Wrestling, we’re proud, we like wrestling.”

AJ Styles “It about time someone stood up and said that wrestling matters”

Shannon Moore “You see there is not another company that offers wrestling”


       Example A of another company besides “Impact Wrestling” that focuses on wrestling

Example B of another company besides “Impact Wrestling” that focuses on wrestling

Example C of another company besides “Impact Wrestling” that focuses on wrestling

Now let’s look at what TNA has been doing this last year

Z! True Long Island Story #13

Great stuff as usual. Vince is too smart not to take advantage of the traffic he's creating with these self made videos. Right? Either way, WWWYKI.

Separated at Birth: Mr Fuji & Oddjob

5-9-11 RAW REVIEW: Two Men and a Little Rey Rey

RAW starts out fast out of the gate with Alberto Del Rio coming out to the ring. King wishes that someone wold tell Ricardo to change the oil in his hair. Michael Cole says "1985 strikes again." Lawler says that Cole was working at McDonalds at that point so how would he know?

Del Rio talks about his destiny again. I love Del Rio, but the destiny thing is getting a little stale. He said he doesn't understand why they wasted time on The Rock's birthday when it should have been a celebration of his arrival on RAW.

Del Rio announces that the WWE Champion is John Cena. Cena gets the normal mixed pop with the adult male part of the audience booing and the kids and females cheering. I don't think WWE understands the problem it has with babyfaces and heels right now. The line is so blurred. Its a bad sign when your top babyface gets as many boos as cheers. Maybe I'm old fashioned, anyway..

Del Rio says he should be facing John Cena. Rey Mysterio takes exception to this and makes his way out. Rey says Del Rio is no more worthy of a title shot than he is. He tells him that his destiny is to be Ricardo Rodriguez's personal ring announcer. Ricardo seems to very much enjoy this. Rey challenges Del Rio to match.

Del Rio calls Rey a little Chihauha. He is interrupted by The Miz with Alex Riley. Miz says really about 5 times. Miz says that RAW is still his show, which gets a mix of boos and cheers. The top heel is a tweener too. Oh good. Del Rio says Miz had his chance and he didn't get the job done. He tells Miz to get to the back of the line.

Miz throws Alex Riley under the proverbial bus and says he wants a legitimate rematch. He says the Del Rio and Rey can fight each other in a Taco Bell parking lot for all he cares. Ouch.

Oh no, here comes R Truth. Gross. He's talking to himself as he comes down. He tells us how much he hates hospital food. We finally get the pay off that John Morrison is eating a lot of hospital food right now because R Truth hurt his neck. What does this have to do with the WWE Title?

R Truth tells everyone in the ring that he doesn't have a problem with everyone in the ring being hooked up to the same IV and bedpan. That seems unsanitary. R Truth calls The Miz Kermit. Obviously he is a WrestlingGold reader. He calls Rey bottle nose. Huh? He calls Del Rio a fence jumper and liver lips. Liver lips? I haven't heard that one since I watched Grumpy Old Men last.

Truth says he's going to face Cena and the annoying Raw General Manager tone hits. Cole reads the message. He says he received it on his Ipad but he's clearly reading it off of a laptop. Ha. It is announced there will be a triple threat match between The Miz, Del Rio, and Rey for the #1 contendership.

R Truth singles out Rey and says he shouldn't be in the match. Apparently we're setting up a match between them at Over The Limit. I think the writing on Truth's jacket was done with sharpy marker.

The Miz tells Del Rio and Rey that they are day laborers. The Miz tries to say he is the next champion but Ricardo cuts him off and says Del Rio's name instead. Funny stuff. Del Rio loves it. Alex Riley his Del Rio and Ricardo drop kicks Alex Riley. Ha. Go Twiki. Mysterio takes out Del Rio with a plancha.

We are back to the ring and The Bella Twins are already in the ring. Do we just not do entrances anymore? Even wrestlers that are not jobbers have their entrances skipped. Barry Horowitz is sitting at home watching feeling better about his career.

The Bella Twins are facing Eve and Kelly Kelly. Eve and Kelly win in a very short match thankfully when Kelly Kelly reverses a pin into a small package.

Here comes Kharma. They're doing a great job with this. The Bella Twins sneak out leaving Kelly Kelly and Eve in the ring. Kharma attacks a babyface for the first time and lays out Eve with the implant buster after the camera misses her giving Eve a clothesline/forearm when Eve attempts to get the preemptive strike.

Up next we have Mason Ryan with CM Punk vs. Big Show with Kane. Great CM Punk players manager tonight. Mason Ryan and Zek Jackson have the same Uranage finisher. They should probably do something about that. The match is thrown out as the rest of Nextus come down after Ryan and Punk get laid out. Ryan gets a double chokeslam for his trouble.

Next we have Dolph Ziggler. Oh I'm sorry, the new and improved Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino. Why does Santino get TV time every week? As usual Santino spends more time setting up the Cobra than actually doing it and Ziggler hits the ZigZag. I always thought blonds had more fun but apparently when you become a brunette you become the future of Monday Night Raw.

They show the Smackdown replay of Orton vs. Christian. Spoiler alert, it will be announced on Smackdown this week that Christian will be getting a rematch at Over The Limit.

R Truth is caught backstage. He does his best Jericho impression and continues to call his situation a conspiracy because parents want him to dance again? I don't get it.

Zack Ryder spotting! Him and John Cena are backstage and Zack is teaching him to fist pump. Ryder continues to fist pump as Cena is almost completely down the hallway. I'm really hoping that big pop was for Zack.

We skip backstage to The Miz and Alex Riley having a lover's spat backstage. Alex Riley says he will make it up to The Miz tonight.

Alex Riley decides making it up to The Miz is to challenge John Cena to a match. I'm sure The Miz would be super pumped if Riley won the title instead of him. Cena wins the match with the STF and Riley sells being hurt.

 

Cole cuts a promo. It looks like this foolishness will continue at Over the Limit. Back to Lawler vs. Cole it appears. Cole says he's retiring, which means there is an even better chance of him wrestling even more.

Cole makes comments about Lawler's dead mother and Lawler is beaten up by Swagger. Yawn.

Jack Swagger than takes on Kofi Kingston. Kingston hits Trouble in Paradise after Lawler distracts Swagger.

Lawler attacks Cole now. Cole's facial expressions when Lawler has a hold of his tie were pretty comical. I'm just not as into this crap as everyone else apparently is. I've said it a million times but it just keeps a better performer off of PPV/TV.

It's main event time. Del Rio, Rey, and The Miz have a very fun triple threat match. I'd say it was good enough for PPV. It looks as if Rey is going to win the match but Alex Riley drags Rey off Del Rio before the 3 count. Miz uses the opportunity to role up Rey for the three count and the #1 contendership.

Cena comes out and announces the main event at Over The Limit will be him and The Miz in an I Quit match. R Truth attacks Rey Mysterio as we fade to black. I'm not comfortable with the last image of any show being R Truth.

It was a decent RAW where they did get setting up half of the Over The Limit PPV out of the way. The main event definitely saved the show.

Nick Hogan Getting Married

Nick Hogan apparently has bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend of 3 years. This news is really of no interest to me, except for one thing. Since his parents have some sort of weird fetish for dating/marrying people that look like their family members, I wonder what Nick's soon to be fiance looks like?

My guess: Hulk's arms, Linda's boobs, and Brooke's penis.

Smackdown Review 5/6/11

We kick off this edition of Smackdown with a promo about Christian’s Title win at the Extreme Rules PPV. The best line is at the end of this video package: “Tonight, celebrate the kickoff to Christian’s championship reign on Smackdown”.

Christian then comes to the ring and says that he has dreamed of this moment ever since he was a little kid. For some reason I don’t think he dreamed that it would only last two whole days , and be ended because of Cowboy Bob’s son.

He goes on to say that if there was no Edge there would be no Christian, and that he loved him. He also thanked the WWE Universe and all of the Peeps. Then Mark Henry’s music starts playing and we have old Sexual Chocolate himself coming down the ramp. Is it already time for the Mark Henry push that seems to happen every three years?

Booker makes a comment about how the evil smile on Mark Henry’s face as of late really scares him. Henry says that he wants a title shot. Then the Great Khali comes down and says he wants a title shot as well. Then Randy Orton comes out and says he wants a title shot. Luckily, Teddy Long comes down to the ring to put things in order.

Teddy said that he will let the WWE Universe decide who will get the title shot against Christian. Of course they picked Randy Orton, but we all know deep down in side we all wanted The Great Khali to get the shot. So it looks like we’ll be getting a Randy Orton vs. Christian for Title tonight in the main event.

Match#1 Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan Danielson. Josh Matthews makes a comment about how Bryan is the Ryan Reynolds of the WWE. Cole says “He the Green Lantern?” No Michael Cole, he is actually a guy that works with another guy and a girl, at a pizza place. Sheamus wins with two Brogue Kicks to the head of Bryan. These two fellas had a pretty decent match.

Winner: Sheamus

Cody Rhodes comes out wearing a business suit and followed by the paper bag handlers. They also have the lights turned down low, which is a very nice touch to Cody’s character. He does his promo about Rey and how ugly the audience is. He then has his lackies hand out the paper bag masks.

Match #2 Big Show vs. Ezekiel Jackson. The Corre is ringside, so this causes Kane to come down to be in Show’s corner. Jackson wins and The Corre try to celebrate with him, but Big Ez is having none of it and storms off. They then cut to a recap of The Rock’s birthday party on Monday.

Winner: Ezekiel Jackson

Match #3 Layla vs. Alicia Fox. Layla gets the pin and then we get a visit from Kharma after the match. The WWE might do some things that are very questionable, i.e. Dropping wrestling from their name, giving Mark Henry a push every three years, going PG, etc, but at least they how to use/build up Kong (so far). Kharma came down and dominates Alicia and hits the Implant Buster.

Winner: Layla

Backstage: The Corre is on the hunt for Jackson. Once they find him in the back, they get all up in his face and he takes them all on. The Corre finally over power Ahmed Johnson… I mean Ezekiel Jackson and tip a towel bin on top of him. That’ll teach him.

Match #4 Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd. This is another example of the WWE building up someone the right way. These two worked a good fast paced match with a lot of cool spots. I think it was a great decision to put Sin Cara on Smackdown. Simply for the reason that it’s a taped show and you can edit any botched spots. Cara uses the Moonsault Side Slam to get the pin. After the match Chavo gets in ring and shakes Sin Cara’s hand, but does the classic 80’s action movie handshake where he pulls him in close. Chavo then smiles and stares down Sin Cara as he leaves.

Winner: Sin Cara

Match #5 Randy Orton vs. Christian. Well here we have it, the main event. This was a really good match, mainly for the fact that both guys worked their asses off. Orton hit the Angle Slam and followed it up with a RKO as Christian was jumping from the second rope. It appears that the live crowd didn’t care at all that Christian had just lost the title. They were definitely on Team Orton. After Orton had left, they gave Christian a weak applause as he walked out.

Winner and New Champion: Randy Orton

Happy Mother's Day from Cryme Tyme

 

I liked their gimmick better....when it was called The Home Boy Shopping Network.

El Dandy: A Real Jam Up Guy

El Dandy was my favorite luchadore. I've never been shy about it. As Chris Jericho famously said, he looks like the winner of a Lou Ferrigno look-a-like contest, if Ferrigno weighed 200 pounds and only stood 5 foot 7 that is.

I never saw Dandy actually win a match but I thought he had the greatest name in professional wrestling. Hulk, Axe, Hitman, Psycho, Assassin, Grizzly, The Snake. DANDY. It sends chills down your spine.

I don't think there are words to describe how great this photo is. I believe it was taken during Dandy's CMLL or AAA or whatever Mexican promotion days. Not only was he a snazzy dresser but apparently he could score.

This leads to one of my favorite WCW promos of all time and one of my favorite Bret Hart promos of all time. Bret had the US title and feels that El Dandy would be the best contender to his title. Timeless stuff. He refers to Dandy as a "real jam up guy" which must be Canadian for "fat, Mexican jobber."