The show starts with Immortal coming to the ring. Gunner is holding the TV Title in his teeth for some strange reason. Somebody obviously told him that looked neat. Hogan then proceeds to call out Mr. Anderson, who pulled the swerve last week by not joining Immortal. Mr. Anderson refers to Immortal as sheep swinging from Hulk Hogan's nuts. That kind of imagery is so vivid. Anderson said he won't step in line. Immortal then decides to beat the tar out of Anderson. Tenay mentions something about Gang Warfare when Anderson gets beaten down and I was hoping DOA and The Nation were going to come out and start brawling. Hogan just called himself one bad mamajama. Somewhere Chris Jericho is annoyed.
The cameras then cut to Velvet and Winter yelling at each other. I'm sure that it has something to do with She-Festus. Winter says She-Festus can make her own decisions. I think you have to blink in order to make your own decisions.
Immortal is backstage cheering about beating up on one guy. It looks like an awkward celebration. Bischoff gets a call from The Network. They want to do a best two out of three series match Fortune vs. Immortal with the winner getting a man advantage at Lockdown. This kind of stuff annoys the crap out of me. The Network. Why does every Russo product (I know its you, you douche bag) have to have this higher power that is secretive and everyone must answer to it. He tried this garbage in WCW and it was awful. WWE is currently doing it with the Anonymous Raw General Manager. How dumb do they think fans are? Lame.
Crimson vs. Jesse Neal vs. Doug Williams vs. Orlando Jordan was next.
All their tag team partners are at ringside. Shannon Moore kept flexing which annoyed Scott Steiner because only he is allowed to flex apparently. He proceeds to beat up Shannon through the crowd and Jesse follows. Abyss then came out and beat up on Crimson. He rips off a piece of guard rail and chokeslams Crimson on it. Mike Tenay screams, "The guard rail, the steel, the concrete!" Pick one Mike. Orlando Jordan hits "The Gender Bender" for the pin on Doug Williams while all this foolishness is going on.
I know Orlando Jordan is trying something different but instead of thinking bisexual or transvestite when I see him on TV I immediately think of Buffalo Bill dancing in front of the mirror in the kimono instead. Possibly that says more about me than it does anyone. Shit..
The camera then cuts to Bully Ray giving RVD some crap for playing video games. Ray tells RVD that Hogan is going to make RVD an offer he shouldn't refuse. They make a marijuana reference about less seeds being better. Seeds are annoying.
Next up is Matt Hardy vs. Kazarian. Abyss, Flair, and Bully Ray accompany Matt to ringside. Kazarian comes out with Beer Money and Christopher Daniels. Earl Hebner then dismisses everyone from ringside.
Kazarian and Hardy wrestle a decent match but certainly nothing fantastic. Hardy bumps the ref in order to lock up Kazarian in "The Ice Pick" after a back and forth match. Its called "The Ice Pick" because Matt Hardy is "Coldblooded." Get it?
Mike Tenay lets us know that Hulk Hogan has decided that Mr. Anderson is going to run the "Immortal gauntlet." Tazz says that sucks for Mr. Anderson. It will probably end up sucking for us too.
Madison and Tara come out. She hasn't been able to sleep this week. If she could have done things differently she would have ran over Mickey James one more time. Tara objects to this. Madison starts yelling at Tara. Mickey James comes out.
"Hardcore Country" sounds like one of those CDs full of country hits you can get from an infomercial. I'm just saying. Mickey cuts a decent promo about how she's going to beat up Madison at Lockdown. She's better on the mic than most of the females, that I'll give her.
Next up is the 3 man tag match between Matt Morgan, Kurt Angle, and Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett, Hernandez, and Pope Dinero. The match was to get the heels some heat before Lockdown and it was effective at least in that purpose even though it was kind of a mess. Pope ended up pinning Joe after hitting him with the brass knuckles. Angle ends up chasing The Jarretts out of the arena until Karen decides she has forgotten her purse and decides her maniac ex-husband is not as scary as possibly not having her lip gloss. Jeff speeds away leaving Karen to Angle who says that Jeff is a coward and that Karen sucks at picking husbands. Touche, Kurt. Touche.
Next up we had the fight for RVD's soul. Hogan, playing the roll of the mini shoulder devil is saying join us, and Sting is playing the roll of the mini shoulder angel saying don't. RVD is non committal and decides to go backstage, no doubt to toke up to get the shoulder devil and angel to hopefully go away. Who can blame him. Stinger lays out Bischoff with the death drop. Hogan cowers.
James Storm came out to face Abyss. Storm is pinned clean in about 3 minutes, meaning Immortal wins the man advantage at Lockdown.
More stupid backstage crap with Bischoff talking to The Network and being upset. He wants to know who is working with The Network and they won't reveal it to him. I started up a "Fire Russo" chant at home.
Next up is Velvet calling out She-Festus. She-Festus does not disappoint and comes out. Velvet shoves her. She-Festus stares. She-Festus gives Velvet two horrible bumps. I think the first one was supposed to involve the chair but she missed. The next one was a DDT on the chair. My pulse during this probably was similar to She-Festus because I could have cared less.
All their tag team partners are at ringside. Shannon Moore kept flexing which annoyed Scott Steiner because only he is allowed to flex apparently. He proceeds to beat up Shannon through the crowd and Jesse follows. Abyss then came out and beat up on Crimson. He rips off a piece of guard rail and chokeslams Crimson on it. Mike Tenay screams, "The guard rail, the steel, the concrete!" Pick one Mike. Orlando Jordan hits "The Gender Bender" for the pin on Doug Williams while all this foolishness is going on.
I know Orlando Jordan is trying something different but instead of thinking bisexual or transvestite when I see him on TV I immediately think of Buffalo Bill dancing in front of the mirror in the kimono instead. Possibly that says more about me than it does anyone. Shit..
The camera then cuts to Bully Ray giving RVD some crap for playing video games. Ray tells RVD that Hogan is going to make RVD an offer he shouldn't refuse. They make a marijuana reference about less seeds being better. Seeds are annoying.
Next up is Matt Hardy vs. Kazarian. Abyss, Flair, and Bully Ray accompany Matt to ringside. Kazarian comes out with Beer Money and Christopher Daniels. Earl Hebner then dismisses everyone from ringside.
Kazarian and Hardy wrestle a decent match but certainly nothing fantastic. Hardy bumps the ref in order to lock up Kazarian in "The Ice Pick" after a back and forth match. Its called "The Ice Pick" because Matt Hardy is "Coldblooded." Get it?
Mike Tenay lets us know that Hulk Hogan has decided that Mr. Anderson is going to run the "Immortal gauntlet." Tazz says that sucks for Mr. Anderson. It will probably end up sucking for us too.
Madison and Tara come out. She hasn't been able to sleep this week. If she could have done things differently she would have ran over Mickey James one more time. Tara objects to this. Madison starts yelling at Tara. Mickey James comes out.
"Hardcore Country" sounds like one of those CDs full of country hits you can get from an infomercial. I'm just saying. Mickey cuts a decent promo about how she's going to beat up Madison at Lockdown. She's better on the mic than most of the females, that I'll give her.
Next up is the 3 man tag match between Matt Morgan, Kurt Angle, and Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett, Hernandez, and Pope Dinero. The match was to get the heels some heat before Lockdown and it was effective at least in that purpose even though it was kind of a mess. Pope ended up pinning Joe after hitting him with the brass knuckles. Angle ends up chasing The Jarretts out of the arena until Karen decides she has forgotten her purse and decides her maniac ex-husband is not as scary as possibly not having her lip gloss. Jeff speeds away leaving Karen to Angle who says that Jeff is a coward and that Karen sucks at picking husbands. Touche, Kurt. Touche.
Next up we had the fight for RVD's soul. Hogan, playing the roll of the mini shoulder devil is saying join us, and Sting is playing the roll of the mini shoulder angel saying don't. RVD is non committal and decides to go backstage, no doubt to toke up to get the shoulder devil and angel to hopefully go away. Who can blame him. Stinger lays out Bischoff with the death drop. Hogan cowers.
James Storm came out to face Abyss. Storm is pinned clean in about 3 minutes, meaning Immortal wins the man advantage at Lockdown.
More stupid backstage crap with Bischoff talking to The Network and being upset. He wants to know who is working with The Network and they won't reveal it to him. I started up a "Fire Russo" chant at home.
Next up is Velvet calling out She-Festus. She-Festus does not disappoint and comes out. Velvet shoves her. She-Festus stares. She-Festus gives Velvet two horrible bumps. I think the first one was supposed to involve the chair but she missed. The next one was a DDT on the chair. My pulse during this probably was similar to She-Festus because I could have cared less.
Next up is the Immortal Gauntlet. First up was Murphy, who got Mic Checked after a few moments of working Anderson's knee. Basically the same thing happened to the second entrant, Rob Terry. Third up is Gunner who has managed to take the TV belt out of his mouth for long enough to get beat by Mr. Anderson rather quickly.
Next up is Bully Ray. I love the guy. They really should push him more as a heel. He can cut a promo, he works in the ring well. If TNA was smart they'd continue to push him. Anderson and Bully brawl until Bully knocks out the referee. They take the fight out to the stage where Bully gets ready to do the same power bomb bump to Anderson that they did with AJ Styles. Hogan hobbles out and says he wants to power bomb him instead. Does Hogan know how to do a power bomb? Sting makes the save with the baseball bat. Abyss comes out and gets more baseball bat from Sting for his trouble.
They end the show with the standard cut back/reactions backstage after the show. Fortune says that everything will end Sunday. RVD doesn't say anything. Anderson babbles about how he still hates Sting. Hogan says Immortal is going to break Sting in half.
Overall it wasn't an awful show and they did their best to set up Lockdown. Here's hoping its better than Victory Road. It shouldn't be difficult at all to be better than Victory Road.
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