After that we immediately get to Mr. Ricardo Rodriguez which of course means the arrival of Alberto Del Rio. Alberto lets us know his name. Del Rio says that when Edge had to retire that the WWE lost a hero. Del Rio said he didn't want it to be like this, but said that he would gladly accept the World Heavyweight Championship. I do like this move. The best kind of heel feels that what they're doing is actually right and you get the feeling from that small promo that Alberto truly believes he should be given the title.
Teddy Long's music hits and he comes out to the ring, no doubt to call Alberto a player. Ha! Second sentence. There it is. Teddy says that no one will be presented the title. Ha! Player! That's twice. Teddy informs Alberto he will be facing the winner of a 20 man over the top battle royal at Extreme Rules. Alberto thinks this is just fine. I kid, he's quite upset and feels he should be the champion right now. He gets so mad he starts speaking Spanish. He mentions it being a conspiracy. That's the second show that I think has made Chris Jericho frown this week. Player! That's three.
We come back from commercial and Ezekial Jackson is already in the ring and The Corre has stopped by to do commentary. Lot of gold on those jabronis, jeez. Ezekial is set to wrestle Kofi Kingston. Ezekial dominates most of the match with power moves, none of them being a Pearl River Plunge surprisingly.
Booker says that the rolls on the back of Ezekial Jackson's neck look like a Tsunami. Too soon Booker! Oh wait, we're the guys who posted the pictures of Earthquake and Typhoon a few days after that. Carry on!
Ezekial throws Kofi onto The Corre at ringside. This seems to piss off Wade Barrett who appears to try to get at Ezekial but causes the ref to be distracted long enough for Ezekial to hit a Uranage for the pin on Kofi. Sad to see Kofi get squashed like that. Ezekial grabs the microphone afterward. They shouldn't have let him do that. He channels Porky Pig as he lets the crowd and The Corre know that he is the "Pe..pe..pe..personification of domination."
We cut to LayCools couples therapy session. Hopefully we're all in the trust tree. Lay said they should be like Bert and Ernie, or Thelma and Louise. They always reminded me more of Grover and Elmo with mild retardation and a muddy English accent. Michelle McCool leaves the session. My giving a shit meter didn't budge at all during that one.
The Angel of Music, err Cody Rhodes is now in the ring. I shouldn't rip on Cody so much, I actually like him, even if he doesn't wear knee pads. He cuts a promo about how empty inside he is after beating Rey at Wrestlemania. Maybe he should take up yoga, Asian cooking, walking, wine tasting?
Cody actually cuts a really good promo. He plays the insecure freak card really well. Perhaps he's channeling memories of his father peeling off that polka dotted singlet in front of him after matches and then hitting the shower. That would do it for me.
Rey runs out and they start brawling. Rey hits a 619 to the belly and Cody runs off. I hope these two continue feuding and they get Dusty more involved.
A video for Awesome Kong is up next. Its a large black woman flicking the head off a blonde headed doll. I know that's supposed to be creepy but its exactly what I plan on doing after this review is written. Don't judge me.
Rey is still in the ring ready to go and Drew McIntyre makes his way out for their match. Michael Cole mentions that what Cody Rhodes was doing was almost Phantom of the Opera like. Just a tad. I'm hoping next week he enters by swinging in on a chandelier.
The match starts. Cole mentions that McIntyre is still seething about
not having a match at Wrestlemania. It must suck to be the only one angry about something. Rey and Drew get under way. Drew hits a bunch of power moves on Rey and is frustrated when Rey kicks out. The camera zooms in on McIntyre almost pouting after swinging Rey into the outside barrier. Its okay little buddy.
The match continues to go back and forth until Rey has a nice float behind into the 619 and a big splash for the win. This was a very solid match in my opinion that was pretty fun to watch. Rey doesn't have the physical tools he used to but he still knows how to work a great match.
Back from commercial Edge is shown walking into the arena. Dean Malenko is the first to greet him backstage and shake his hand. Always nice to see a rare on camera appearance for Dean these days. Kane stares at Edge and eventually shakes his hand. It was cute.
Edge then comes out to a large pop. I won't be snarky about any of this as it was a nice moment. Edge asked if he could come out just one last time, which he did with his pyro. He acknowledged his mom at ringside as well and thanks the fans for everything. He leaves the belt lying in the middle of the ring and walks out.
Alberto and Edge run into each other backstage. Alberto sticks out his hand and smirks. Edge refuses to shake it. Alberto winks and seems amused.
Next is a divas match. Kelly Kelly's body may be flawless. Mother of God. It won't save this match though. LayCool now comes out as it appears Layla will be wrestling Kelly Kelly. I may grab a beverage. I think I'll settle for a Sprite since I'm still sort of ill. Maybe I should run to the store and get some Ginger Ale. Probably would take too long..
Anyway, Kelly Kelly dominates the match and eventually wins with a roll up when Michelle McCool throws Layla back into the ring after she rolled out. They argue. I'd like this segment a lot better if they started violently making out. Instead Michelle pushes down Layla. This day may be forever burned into your soul as "Where were you when LayCool broke up?" I was in my house with the flu sipping a Sprite. Pretty unforgettable.
Now we see a video highlight of Undertaker vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania with WWE superstars giving comments. Even CM Punk is shown. I'm going through some serious CM Punk withdrawl. I'll be pissed if he doesn't do something on RAW.
When I first watched the Undertaker Triple H match I was kind of snotty about it. After rewatching it I thought they told a really good story. It was not historically good, but it was definitely very good.
Finally we have our main event 20 Man Battle Royal to determine who will face Alberto Del Rio. They're really going to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find 20 guys for this. Kane and Big Show get to come out separately while everyone else gets to start in the ring.
JTG is the first to be eliminated. Trent Barreta is next. Who? Big Show then punches Heath Slater in the face and eliminates him. Big Show then eliminates himself and Ezekial Jackson with a clothesline. Rey eliminates Cody with a springboard drop kick. Rey then gets Curt Hawkins with a headscissors. King Hippo, err Brodus Clay gets going next and eliminates Drew McIntyre. Chavo jumps on his back and Hippo shrugs him off. Kane is obviously not a big Mike Tyson's Punch Out fan as he eliminates Brodus.
Back from commercial we see Wade Barrett eliminate Kofi Kingston. Christian sends Tyler Reks out and then goes after poor Yoshi Tatsu. I had money on Yoshi. The Corre double teams Kane and eliminates him. Barrett eliminates Masters before he can put anyone completely in a Full Nelson. This displeases me. Gabriel eliminates Barrett. So much strife in The Corre right now. I haven't been this upset since the Latino World Order dissolved.
Rey eliminates Justin Gabriel next with another head scissors. Swagger throws out Rey after Cole plays human shield for the 619. Suddenly scenes from the movie The Bodyguard are running through my head. And I..Will Always Love You. I may be delirious.
Its down to Christian and Swagger. Swagger cinches in the ankle lock. Christian escapes. Alberto starts pulling on Christian's foot. He kicks him off and sends Swagger over the ropes in the process. It was an obvious but nice touch to have the sentimental favorite win. Edge comes down and congratulates him. Alberto stands on the announce table and points at the belt and then motions to his chest like he's hungry.
Triple H's music then hits which is a bit of a surprise. He comes down and the two embrace and Edge is losing it in the ring as Hunter talks to him. Pretty crazy moment.
Edge gets back on the microphone and thanks everyone he can think of. The crowd started chanting Hall of Fame. It will definitely be sad to see Edge go.
My goal with these reviews was to try to put a humorous spin on the shows but I have to say I was incredibly impressed with this episode of Smackdown. They did a great job sending Edge out and put on a solid show otherwise.
No comments:
Post a Comment