RAW begins with a 20 man over the top battle royal on the Draft Edition of Monday Night Raw. The winning team wins the first draft pick in the draft.
I thought about typing out the order of elimination and realized how awkward that is and how when it all comes down to it all anyone cares about is who wins. This isn't the Royal Rumble after all. The final four contestants are Batista Lite and Evan Bourne for RAW and Big Show and Kofi Kingston for Smackdown. Bourne and Kingston have a neat little sequence with some athletic moves. Would be nice if they would have just let those two wrestle a match for the draft pick instead of this battle royal. Kingston and Big Show eliminate Batista Lite last to earn the first draft pick.
Here comes the flippy Draft graphic. I wish it was like the mushroom slot game in Super Mario Brothers and wherever it stopped is what you got. Who doesn't want to see Beth Phoenix as a #1 pick?
The graphic stops on John Cena who has been drafted to Smackdown. Cole is very angry about this. I'm not sure why. What is it to him? He's on both shows. I don't get it. Cena comes out and puts on his Smackdown shirt.
The Did You Know graphic comes up after commercial letting us know that the WWE Superstars Slingshot App (Angry Birds with WWE wrestlers) is the #1 kids game app in Egypt, Belgium, Jordan, Turkey, and India. I would have figured Cut The Head Off the Infidel would have been the top app in Egypt and Jordan so this is a rather large shocker to me.
Next we have an interview with Cena. Cena cuts a Sci Fi inspired promo that actually was midly amusing. He lost me with the Dennis Rodman stuff. Who talks about Dennis Rodman anymore? Heh. Maybe it really is 1999 like he said.
The Miz interrupts Cena's interview and essentially says how happy he is that Cena won't be around on RAW anymore. Cena just stares off into space all wide eyed. Probably thinking about Dennis Rodman some more.
We find out that Michael Cole will be facing Jim Ross in a match later tonight. Ought to be a slobberknocker..
A recap of the John Morrison/R-Truth situation is replayed. I'm glad they pried R-Truth from the main event but man, this heel push seems legitimate, they even set the mood of the video recap with some Blackhawk Down like music. I was hoping some "skinnies" were going to hop out with AKs and blow R-Truth away but no such luck.
And now we get the treat of R-Truth getting some mic time. R-Truth screams out Raleigh, North Carolina. The fans obviously for the most part missed RAW last week as they began to cheer until R-Truth tells them to shut up. R-Truth tells the crowd that the "What?" chant is pissing him off. I agree with him. They also bleeped out "pissing." Good old PG TV.
R-Truth says that he's done doing things for the fans. Apparently his rapping was for the fans, the dancing as well. He should have just done that for himself. I wonder if K Kwick was for the fans?
Gettin' Rowdy?
Truth now starts talking to an invisible child named Jimmy. Little does he know that Jimmy has hated pro wrestling since his favorite wrestler, Rick Martel, blew out his knee in that match with Booker T at SuperBrawl VIII. Little Jimmy will always love The Model.
John Morrison interrupts R-Truth's mic time by drilling him from behind. Not exactly a very nice move by a babyface, but no matter. He knocks him down on the ramp and starts pounding on him until the referee squad breaks them up. Morrison breaks away from the ref goon squad a couple more times to give R-Truth a few more shots.
Another promo is shown for Awesome Kong's new character with the dolls.With the exception of Kelly Kelly (bathe her and bring her to me) I kind of wish a large African American woman would pop off their heads. We finally see her face and that her name is going to be Kharma.
Next up is a divas draft pick match with Eve vs. Layla. Michelle McCool comes down separately signifying LayCool is still having issues. After a few seconds Michael Cole starts talking on the mic in the middle of the divas match. Eve wins the match with a quick roll up and Michelle gets the crap kicked out of her by Layla. Both women scream and cry while Cole continues to talk about how he's a real athlete and is going to put on a clinic by dissecting Jim Ross tonight.
I dissected a fetal pig in high school and I imagine that was a lot less gross than it would be to dissect Jim Ross. It would answer the question as to whether or not bbq sauce truly does run through his veins.
The draft graphic comes up and Rey Mysterio is coming to RAW. Zack Ryder approves of this by fist pumping to his heart's content. Woo Woo Woo! Rey Rey comes out with his pyro and puts on a RAW T-shirt.
After commercial we cut backstage to Cody Rhodes who is asked about his reaction to Rey Mysterio being drafted to RAW. Cody cuts another nice promo. Considering his pedigree it shouldn't be a surprise that Cody is doing this well but I'm pleasantly surprised at how good he is on the mic on a weekly basis.
We cut to the ring and out comes Kofi Kingston to face Sheamus with a draft pick at stake. Sheamus and Kofi next to each other is scary. They should have called his match Ebony and Ivory. The two work a decent match that Kofi wins after two consecutive Trouble in Paradises.
Off to the draft graphic. Randy Orton is going to Smackdown. John Cena is pumped about this. Albert Del Rio seems annoyed. Orton comes out and gets tossed his Smackdown T-shirt.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for, Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross. Booker comes out for color commentary. The bell rings and
we're underway.
Cole makes fun of JR's weight and slaps his belly. Cole dances around and JR throws a few punches that Cole dodges. Cole grabs JR's hat and puts it on. This displeases JR. Cole stomps on his hat. Cole gets towled off and does a push up. When will this end?
JR pushes Cole down. Cole calls for a timeout. Jack Swagger towels him off. Now he's having some water. I bet John Morrison is pissed about that. Cole attempts to slam JR and JR falls on top of him. JR must have given him a potato shot as he immediately checks his lip and mouth. Not intentional, but funny none the less. I guess that's a bit of payoff.
Swagger beats up JR and gets him in the ankle lock. Cole is bleeding pretty good from the mouth. Cole decides Swagger should take his belt off. Cole whips JR while Swagger has the ankle lock on. Lawler cleans house and knocks everyone out of the ring, giving Cole a quick few smacks with the belt on his way out.
Michael Cole runs out like he tore his anus and the Raw General Manager has a message. Josh tells us that the match at Extreme Rules will now be a Country Whipping Match. Yeehaww! JR has Cole's blood on his face and his first. I think JR caught Cole's tooth pretty good. Its bleeding pretty nicely.
The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage. Riley turns the W on the microphone upside down. Miz cuts a decent promo. I'm hoping birth-a-tainment trended on Twitter last night. Miz says that if he does get drafted to Smackdown that Monday Night RAW would be canceled within one month.
I thought about typing out the order of elimination and realized how awkward that is and how when it all comes down to it all anyone cares about is who wins. This isn't the Royal Rumble after all. The final four contestants are Batista Lite and Evan Bourne for RAW and Big Show and Kofi Kingston for Smackdown. Bourne and Kingston have a neat little sequence with some athletic moves. Would be nice if they would have just let those two wrestle a match for the draft pick instead of this battle royal. Kingston and Big Show eliminate Batista Lite last to earn the first draft pick.
Here comes the flippy Draft graphic. I wish it was like the mushroom slot game in Super Mario Brothers and wherever it stopped is what you got. Who doesn't want to see Beth Phoenix as a #1 pick?
The graphic stops on John Cena who has been drafted to Smackdown. Cole is very angry about this. I'm not sure why. What is it to him? He's on both shows. I don't get it. Cena comes out and puts on his Smackdown shirt.
The Did You Know graphic comes up after commercial letting us know that the WWE Superstars Slingshot App (Angry Birds with WWE wrestlers) is the #1 kids game app in Egypt, Belgium, Jordan, Turkey, and India. I would have figured Cut The Head Off the Infidel would have been the top app in Egypt and Jordan so this is a rather large shocker to me.
Next we have an interview with Cena. Cena cuts a Sci Fi inspired promo that actually was midly amusing. He lost me with the Dennis Rodman stuff. Who talks about Dennis Rodman anymore? Heh. Maybe it really is 1999 like he said.
The Miz interrupts Cena's interview and essentially says how happy he is that Cena won't be around on RAW anymore. Cena just stares off into space all wide eyed. Probably thinking about Dennis Rodman some more.
We find out that Michael Cole will be facing Jim Ross in a match later tonight. Ought to be a slobberknocker..
A recap of the John Morrison/R-Truth situation is replayed. I'm glad they pried R-Truth from the main event but man, this heel push seems legitimate, they even set the mood of the video recap with some Blackhawk Down like music. I was hoping some "skinnies" were going to hop out with AKs and blow R-Truth away but no such luck.
And now we get the treat of R-Truth getting some mic time. R-Truth screams out Raleigh, North Carolina. The fans obviously for the most part missed RAW last week as they began to cheer until R-Truth tells them to shut up. R-Truth tells the crowd that the "What?" chant is pissing him off. I agree with him. They also bleeped out "pissing." Good old PG TV.
R-Truth says that he's done doing things for the fans. Apparently his rapping was for the fans, the dancing as well. He should have just done that for himself. I wonder if K Kwick was for the fans?
Gettin' Rowdy?
Truth now starts talking to an invisible child named Jimmy. Little does he know that Jimmy has hated pro wrestling since his favorite wrestler, Rick Martel, blew out his knee in that match with Booker T at SuperBrawl VIII. Little Jimmy will always love The Model.
John Morrison interrupts R-Truth's mic time by drilling him from behind. Not exactly a very nice move by a babyface, but no matter. He knocks him down on the ramp and starts pounding on him until the referee squad breaks them up. Morrison breaks away from the ref goon squad a couple more times to give R-Truth a few more shots.
Another promo is shown for Awesome Kong's new character with the dolls.With the exception of Kelly Kelly (bathe her and bring her to me) I kind of wish a large African American woman would pop off their heads. We finally see her face and that her name is going to be Kharma.
Next up is a divas draft pick match with Eve vs. Layla. Michelle McCool comes down separately signifying LayCool is still having issues. After a few seconds Michael Cole starts talking on the mic in the middle of the divas match. Eve wins the match with a quick roll up and Michelle gets the crap kicked out of her by Layla. Both women scream and cry while Cole continues to talk about how he's a real athlete and is going to put on a clinic by dissecting Jim Ross tonight.
I dissected a fetal pig in high school and I imagine that was a lot less gross than it would be to dissect Jim Ross. It would answer the question as to whether or not bbq sauce truly does run through his veins.
The draft graphic comes up and Rey Mysterio is coming to RAW. Zack Ryder approves of this by fist pumping to his heart's content. Woo Woo Woo! Rey Rey comes out with his pyro and puts on a RAW T-shirt.
After commercial we cut backstage to Cody Rhodes who is asked about his reaction to Rey Mysterio being drafted to RAW. Cody cuts another nice promo. Considering his pedigree it shouldn't be a surprise that Cody is doing this well but I'm pleasantly surprised at how good he is on the mic on a weekly basis.
We cut to the ring and out comes Kofi Kingston to face Sheamus with a draft pick at stake. Sheamus and Kofi next to each other is scary. They should have called his match Ebony and Ivory. The two work a decent match that Kofi wins after two consecutive Trouble in Paradises.
Off to the draft graphic. Randy Orton is going to Smackdown. John Cena is pumped about this. Albert Del Rio seems annoyed. Orton comes out and gets tossed his Smackdown T-shirt.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for, Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross. Booker comes out for color commentary. The bell rings and
we're underway.
Cole makes fun of JR's weight and slaps his belly. Cole dances around and JR throws a few punches that Cole dodges. Cole grabs JR's hat and puts it on. This displeases JR. Cole stomps on his hat. Cole gets towled off and does a push up. When will this end?
JR pushes Cole down. Cole calls for a timeout. Jack Swagger towels him off. Now he's having some water. I bet John Morrison is pissed about that. Cole attempts to slam JR and JR falls on top of him. JR must have given him a potato shot as he immediately checks his lip and mouth. Not intentional, but funny none the less. I guess that's a bit of payoff.
Swagger beats up JR and gets him in the ankle lock. Cole is bleeding pretty good from the mouth. Cole decides Swagger should take his belt off. Cole whips JR while Swagger has the ankle lock on. Lawler cleans house and knocks everyone out of the ring, giving Cole a quick few smacks with the belt on his way out.
Michael Cole runs out like he tore his anus and the Raw General Manager has a message. Josh tells us that the match at Extreme Rules will now be a Country Whipping Match. Yeehaww! JR has Cole's blood on his face and his first. I think JR caught Cole's tooth pretty good. Its bleeding pretty nicely.
The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage. Riley turns the W on the microphone upside down. Miz cuts a decent promo. I'm hoping birth-a-tainment trended on Twitter last night. Miz says that if he does get drafted to Smackdown that Monday Night RAW would be canceled within one month.
Angry Miz Girl loves Birth-a-tainment. Still wants your soul
Randy Orton is now facing Dolph Ziggler in a match with two draft picks at stake. Poor Dolph Ziggler. After getting that big repackage last week he doesn't even get an entrance to the ring. Did he color his hair for this? Orton is victorious via RKO and Smackdown gets two more picks.
Before the picks could be announced CM Punk comes out. He lets everyone know that the most important man on television has something to say. And how. He tells Randy that he's going to beat him with everything available at their Last Man Standing match. Randy says he's going to knock Punk unconscious. Unconscious sleep.
Is there any other kind? Great job, Randall. The worst part is that if the rumors are true about Punk considering leaving he will no doubt do the job to Orton again. Bah.
After the commercial break we find out that Mark Henry has been drafted to Smackdown. Wee. Sin Cara has been drafted to Smackdown as well. I can probably shut off the TV now that I know where Mark Henry is going.
Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio is next for two draft picks. Mysterio wins after a short solid match after hitting the 619 and a big splash. Nothing fancy but solid work as always from Rey.
Big Show ends up being the first pick taken by RAW with the two draft picks. They manage to find a RAW T-shirt big enough for Show. More than likely a red tablecloth.
The next pick for RAW is Alberto Del Rio! Alberto is shown talking to Roberto and is very intensely talking about his destiny. Poor Brodus Clay keeps asking, "Sir, what about me?" Why, you've been drafted to FCW, Brodus. Its a very special place for rising superstars such as yourself.
Our resident player and the Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long comes out. He announces that the main event tonight for the last draft pick will be a 6 man tag team match. From RAW it will be CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, and The Miz vs. Christian, Mark Henry, and John Cena from Smackdown.
And we're underway. The match is your basic 6 man tag until out of nowhere Mark Henry turns on Christian and Cena by clotheslining Cena and dropping Christian on the steps with a gorilla press. I'm sure we'll get some sort of explanation on Smackdown as to why. Booker says its because he got paid. By Alberto Del Rio? I got nothing.
After Henry levels Cena, Miz slinks in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the win for Team RAW. The heels celebrate. CM Punk's facial expressions crack me up. Him and Alberto kiss each other on the cheek. Funny stuff.
And here comes the last draft pick of the night. John Cena is drafted back to RAW. Oh the humanity. Cena cleans house on the heels and puts on his RAW T-shirt. I guess you can confidently say you won't see that on the NFL Draft.
Overall I thought they made some good changes and attempted to balance out the roster the best they could. Not a bad RAW at all.
Before the picks could be announced CM Punk comes out. He lets everyone know that the most important man on television has something to say. And how. He tells Randy that he's going to beat him with everything available at their Last Man Standing match. Randy says he's going to knock Punk unconscious. Unconscious sleep.
Is there any other kind? Great job, Randall. The worst part is that if the rumors are true about Punk considering leaving he will no doubt do the job to Orton again. Bah.
After the commercial break we find out that Mark Henry has been drafted to Smackdown. Wee. Sin Cara has been drafted to Smackdown as well. I can probably shut off the TV now that I know where Mark Henry is going.
Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio is next for two draft picks. Mysterio wins after a short solid match after hitting the 619 and a big splash. Nothing fancy but solid work as always from Rey.
Big Show ends up being the first pick taken by RAW with the two draft picks. They manage to find a RAW T-shirt big enough for Show. More than likely a red tablecloth.
The next pick for RAW is Alberto Del Rio! Alberto is shown talking to Roberto and is very intensely talking about his destiny. Poor Brodus Clay keeps asking, "Sir, what about me?" Why, you've been drafted to FCW, Brodus. Its a very special place for rising superstars such as yourself.
Our resident player and the Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long comes out. He announces that the main event tonight for the last draft pick will be a 6 man tag team match. From RAW it will be CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, and The Miz vs. Christian, Mark Henry, and John Cena from Smackdown.
And we're underway. The match is your basic 6 man tag until out of nowhere Mark Henry turns on Christian and Cena by clotheslining Cena and dropping Christian on the steps with a gorilla press. I'm sure we'll get some sort of explanation on Smackdown as to why. Booker says its because he got paid. By Alberto Del Rio? I got nothing.
After Henry levels Cena, Miz slinks in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the win for Team RAW. The heels celebrate. CM Punk's facial expressions crack me up. Him and Alberto kiss each other on the cheek. Funny stuff.
And here comes the last draft pick of the night. John Cena is drafted back to RAW. Oh the humanity. Cena cleans house on the heels and puts on his RAW T-shirt. I guess you can confidently say you won't see that on the NFL Draft.
Overall I thought they made some good changes and attempted to balance out the roster the best they could. Not a bad RAW at all.
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