We kick off Friday Night Smackdown with the recently knighted, Sir Michael Cole coming out with his own entrance. The Cole-Mine has been transformed to “The Royal Cole-Mine”, along with his own throne. Cody Rhodes then makes his way down to the ring. First off, I would like to say that I really like Cody’s titan tron graphics. It flashes old time newspaper headlines, “GROTESQUE”, “CODY RHODES: The Deformed Superstar LASHES OUT!”, “DISFIGURED!”. It was a whole elephant man feel to it.
Cody says that everyone can see that he wears a mask, but he wears for protection. Whereas, Rey Mysterio wears a mask because he is hiding something, and that he is ashamed of himself. He also says that the audience is wearing masks as well, and that he can see the look of despair on our faces from knowing that our lives are miserable. That look is actually from knowing that we have to watch a Kane & Big Show vs. Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel tag match.
We are not to worry, because Cody has a remedy for everyone: Paper Bag with eyes and mouth holes cut out of them! Then everyone in the first couple of rows got handed a paper bag mask. This was awesome and was a very Rick Rude-ish move. Now if they could only just get Cody some kneepads. Rey wins the match, but Cody beats him down and hits “Cross Rhodes” on him and puts and paper bag over Rey’s head.
Mysterio’s music hit and he comes out for a Wrestlemania 27 Rewind match. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Wrestlemania the big pay off show where feuds come to an end. Rey and Cody are still going, Edge and Alberto would still be going if it wasn’t for a neck injury, Lawler and Cole is still going, Orton and Punk are still going. I would assume that these programs will finally end at Extreme Rules, but then that was the point of Wrestlemania 27?
I also noticed that there is a gentleman is the front row wearing a Corre t-shirt. Really….really, I have a idea that is similar to “To Catch A Predator”. We set up a merch table and only offer The Corre and R-Truth items. Then who ever buys something from this table gets a “special” backstage pass that leads them to the “showers”. The Germans know what I’m talking about. In all seriousness, who buys a Corre T-shirt?
We then get a backstage segment with The Corre. They joke about who’s the leader. Don’t care. We then get a beautiful people…um I mean, LayCool segment. They are still taking therapy. Cool say that maybe Lay isn’t flawless, and makes her cry. She then apologizes to Lay and then attacks her.
Next up is Michael Cole in the ring with his Booker T robe on. He shows the clip from Raw of him getting knighted and having JR kiss his feet. He then introduces Jack Swagger for a basic squash match against Trent Barreta. One thing that really pisses me off is that Cole had spent the first half of this show just doing play by play. He acted like the old Michael Cole but with little heel comments here and there. That was until now, because it appears someone flipped the switch and he is “super annoying heel” mode. Swagger wins with an ankle lock.
There is a clip shown of The Big Show at the Nickelodeon Kid Choice Awards. This leads in to the Tag Team Title match. Big Show hits a choke slam on Heath Slater to wins the titles. That’s right, Big Show and Kane are the new tag champs, but hey it’s better than Slater and Gabriel.
Backstage they tease a Corre break up. Slater and Gabriel blame Ezekiel Jackson. Next up is Drew McIntyre vs Chris Masters………… sorry about the pause there, I just had to double check that I’m not watching “WWE Superstars”. McIntyre hits the “Future Shock DDT” on Masters for the win. Michael is back to being normal again and doing play by play.
They show a video recap of R-Truth smoking before the match between Kofi Kingston and Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Championship. Ezekiel Jackson is ringside and half way into the match he accidentally hits Wade while trying to hit Kofi. Wade gets pissed and tells him to leave. Barrett manages to pull out the win against Kofi.
The Alberto’s Retirement Party For Edge is about to start, but you already know that. The World Title in hanging above the ring. Alberto says that he has brought Edge four presents. The first one is a grandfather clock, so that he can watch his life tick away. The second is a pack of Depends and a bed pan, because I guess with a neck injury you sometimes poop your pants. The third present is fat chick dressed up as Lita. The fourth and final present is a motorized scooter.
Edge’s music hits and he comes out. He is sporting a new Edge farewell tour t-shirt, on the back it says “Done it all, Won it all”. He says the Alberto looks surprised to see me, and he says that he RSVP’ed on Facebook. Alberto sends Brodus to beat up Edge, but Brodus is attacked by Christian with a ladder. Christian also takes out Alberto. He then takes the ladder in to the ring and gets the World Title.
Overall it was a pretty good show, and Alberto is the man. I also dare say that Smackdown is better than Raw, but you already know that!
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